When the eternal soul got entangled in the web of karma, so entangled that it was unable to understand how to resolve itself, it needed a mirror. This is when it was drawn to experience the physical plane.
What's so special about the physical plane?
It gives you mirrors. It shows you what you carry within through your family, your relationships, your life situations and your experience with them. It makes you experience love when you carry love within and blame when you carry blame within. You cannot escape / run away from self for wherever you go, your karma follows! But it isn’t a punishment system, it’s a feedback system.
So what's so special about family?
Family is the set of constant mirrors that one manifests which one can hardly run away from. They show you different aspects of yourself in so many different ways. Through a spouse comes your relationship of love with urself, through a child comes your relationship of nurturing urself, through a parent comes your relationship with accepting your creation and so much more with each of them.
So does that mean I will always stay with my family and each member always?
Well, each relationship in one's life is a mirror to some aspect within themselves. When my relationship with loving myself will change, so will what my mirrors show me will also change. Every past / every block / every unresolved memory that I have ever experienced in loving myself through someone, through a difficult life situation will be surfaced. The reason isn't to hinder our progress but rather to facilitate it through the learning we've already had. It's only when that learning don't resonate with us in our current awareness do we experience conflicts. When conflicts arise, they bring discomfort in the form of pain, hurt, anger, blame and misery.
So what to do when we feel like a victim? When we exp pain and misery?
• Bring awareness to self. The moment we drop any outward action...the blame, the pity, the anger and realize we are attracting it, it initiates the process of that energy dissolving itself.
• Bring complete acceptance of your reality. We usually only accept partial realities, because it's difficult to face our mistakes, our shames. Non-acceptance of this reality only prolongs the process of resolving the root cause of the misery. Forgive urself consciously for your contribution to the situation and accept everything unreasonably.
• Stop justifying your truth at the cost of others. Stop telling urself but what happened was REALLY wrong, or what so and so did was wrong, or what so and so happened is why all of it happened. Realize you ATTRACTED all of that you call wrong because at some level you only lack understanding of that aspect which is in conflict. By justifying the existence of this conflict, you will only energize it.
• Empower yourself by knowing you created this pain, this blame, this anger and it has arisen out of a conflict within. If you are it's creator, you can destroy it too.
• Create an intent to learn the lesson that misery brings through that conflict in the highest and best way.
• Know it shall be done. One shall be facilitated. As long as one stay's focused inwardly, they can heal it at the deepest level and resolve it forever. This sort of healing will do two things. It will resolve that conflict at the soul level forever hence stopping itself to attract it again and it will expand the conscious awareness of your soul so that it does not create further karma based on this conflicted understanding.
Do our relationships last forever?
Yes they do but not necessarily in the way we perceive them. They transform, they evolve as we evolve. If A and B were married 20 years ago, they have served each other as a mirror for that time. When their relationship would have begun, in most cases, they would have started by seeing the love that they carry for themselves through the other and hence experienced love for them. When love is experienced by a soul, it will also surface it's lack of understanding of love, the rejection it's felt as lone, the betrayal it's felt through love, the suffering that love brought and the unforgiveness for self above all to allow it happen to self. All of this comes up not to bother one but for it's all what the soul believes love is. Now if the soul believes love is betrayal and unforgiveness, it will manifest / attract them through a life situation / relationship / person. It won't be easy to face and accept the betrayal as one's own. There will be a need to disown it, to blame, to justify it was never my fault but all of this will never even begin the healing process because one will be defying the basic principal of the 'law of attraction' which works all the time...we are the soul magnets...we attract everything BUT from the sub-conscious level.
If A is able to stay focused inwardly, he/she will be able to heal their relationship with B because B was only a mirror to what A carried within. BUT, their relationship will also transcend to a new level now. If B is able to make the same journey inwardly and both meet at a point of self-love and compassion, they will stay in compassion and in a mutually agreeable relationship forever. However if A makes it and B doesn't, then A will be facilitated out of the situation and inspite of B's need to hold-on to A, the universe will resolve it for the one who's able to forgive oneself.
In either case, the relationship MUST go through a transformation because one learns deeper about loving themselves as they move fwd. What A could see through B 20 yrs back was what A could understand about loving self then. In 20 yrs both have learnt deeper about loving themselves and hence what they see through each other is only a deeper understanding of loving self. The deeper you go, the more intense it gets and hence the gravest mistakes / lacks will also surface. This only facilitates further depth.
The need of A to hold-on to B or B to hold-on to A...the need for A to stick to the relationship 20 yrs back or B for the same is only non-acceptance of themselves in this present moment. It is bound to give misery.
Love never meant possessing, holding-on...love only meant allowing self and the other to be. It also means if the one you love has a role to play in your journey and you have in theirs, it will be facilitated lovingly so. If not, realize that your energy is guiding you to rise above it and find yourself through other means. Love isn't and cannot be forced. If one loves self, they will experience love from everyone around naturally and effortlessly so.
What's the final crux of this conversation?
Finally, if you want the mirror to show you differently, the only way is to change it within. Life is about moving fwd in complete trust that whatever is needed for one's growth, will be attracted. Holding-on to any person / relationship or life situation only brings misery where letting it go in complete trust and surrender expands the love we carry within and our experience of love too.
Forgiveness for self and others is key. Life is an experience. It grows and changes mirrors. Accept change. Accept the flow.