Sunday, March 14, 2010

Love & Relationships

Recently, a few regression experiences & personal events triggered me to write this one. When two people love each other, romantically or in any other way, the love gives each of them something to hold on to and we all are aware of that feeling. Slowly, for some reason when the love starts distancing and other things crop up which could be compatibility problems, ego tussles or anything that does not help the relationship…there are usually 2 ways where the relationship goes. Please note that here I am not talking about relationships where people stick by each other anyway, only by means of commitment. I am talking about relationships where both people have the freedom to make their choices with regards to the relationship.

The first way is that both people have the attachment or love and yet struggle to survive together because of the negative emotions getting deposited in their bodies. In this case, the struggle and yet can’t get over each other sub-consciously and they keep bumping into each other on their journey of life. In this case, usually the lesson is to overcome the karmic pattern that they have been coming together with and mostly, stay with each other.

There is this other type of love, which I have slowly realized also exists in when one person moves on and is completely out of a relationship and yet one of them is still hanging on. This is also a karmic pattern coming from somewhere and many times I have noticed that the one who is still stuck could actually be stuck due to an underlying emotional attachment which one is mistaking for love. Here are two examples of these. I had a case in which there were two people who at one point loved each other but after one bit of life situation that brought suffering to the woman and the man couldn’t standup for her due to his own circumstances, their love took a different turn. The man disassociated completely because for him this woman was the source of pain,guilt and fear for him and the woman felt an overwhelming emotion of protectiveness towards the guy where she just knew thoughts like “he needs me”, “he can’t do without me”, “something will go wrong if I am not with him”. When I first encountered her as my client, I was not sure if these emotions were real of it was her ego that was getting stuck in her. When we went into a regression, we found that they had been through a life situation in a past life where she was responsible for protecting him and while doing that she was molested. The boy couldn’t help her for he was too young and yet felt guilt and shame for she was suffering because of him. It’s strange but all her thoughts about protecting him were coming from there. Ever since she saw this, the realization dawned that more than obsessive love, it was that emotion of protecting her that was causing the havoc and ever since, she doesn’t feel the compelling need to be next to him anymore. In fact, it’s been a few weeks and she is not even sure if she will feel that kind of love anymore. This was a classic case of a different underlying emotion which people mistake for love and hangon for a long time. I wouldn't say the future or destiny of this couple can be predicted by this because depending on the type of connection and the depth they have carried for lifetimes, it might yet be the case of being together and yet first clearing the karma deposited over lifetimes but when the intense pain goes away from a relationship, staying with unconditional love, raises one to higher level of consciousness and opens doors to the spiritual insights.

Another example was between a father and a son where the father didn’t trsut the child enough and yet the child kept saying I love my father too much and I can’t tolerate anything against him. After regression we found out that the underlying emotion was to prove to the father that he was wrong and he was right that was attracting him to be attached to him. The attachment was an overwhelming need of his ego to show that “I am good enough. I always was.”

I don’t know if some of you can identify with these situations but just thought I’d share and see if it makes sense because slowly I have started realizing that emotions can really mess up lives when they are not understood correctly.